

After fifty years of marriage, Bill and Nancy calmly announce their divorce at the Grand Horizons retirement community—stunning their adult sons, Brian and Ben. As the family descends into chaos, Ben’s pregnant wife Jess and Brian’s hookup Tommy are swept into the fray. With secrets unearthed and emotions unleashed, this sharp comedy turns a quiet retirement into a full-blown family reckoning.
Auditions will consist of readings from the play, please bring headshots/resumes, if available.
If you would like to audition but cannot make the two dates, please contact calexander@aclassictheatre.org or davidbuchman@hotmail.com
Performance dates are
Sept. 11, 12, 13, 18, 19 ,20, 2026
Monday July 13 - 6:30pm
Tuesday July 14 - 6:30pm
at The Waterworks
184 San Marco Ave., St. Augustine
ROLES:
Nancy French (Female, 70’S) A caring and resourceful former librarian. Tired of living only half a life, she asks Bill, her husband of fifty years, for a divorce to seek a new life and independence.
Bill French (Male, 70’s) A retired pharmacist who seems unfazed at the idea of divorcing Nancy. Chock full of crude “Dad” jokes, he is ready to start a new chapter of his life with his girlfriend, Carla.
Ben French (Male, Late 30’s – 40’s) Bill and Nancy older son. A high-strung lawyer who is about to be a father for the first time. His family’s dysfunction stirs up drama in his own marriage to Jess. The stress makes his emotions – and his eczema – flare up.
Brian French (Male, Late 30’s – 40’s) Bill and Nancy younger son. A drama teacher who wears his heart on his sleeve. Although he is deeply affected by his parents’ breakup, he just wants everyone to be happy. ACTOR MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH VERBAL AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION FROM ANOTHER MALE ACTOR
Jess French (Female, Late 20’s – 40’s) Ben’s very pregnant wife. An empathetic, yet outspoken, family therapist who tries to navigate the family's conflict. Strong-willed and outspoken, she is not afraid to stand up to her husband and brother-in-law.
Tommy (Male ,20’s – Mid 30’s) A confident, blunt, and flirtatious character who often adds a humorous, boundary-setting perspective to the situation. ACTOR MUST BE COMFORTABLE WITH VERBAL AND PHYSICAL AFFECTION FROM ANOTHER MALE ACTOR
Carla (Female, Mid 50’s – 70s) Bill’s girlfriend. A “free spirit” who is cheerful and warm with a great sense of humor and comfortable offering her very candid perspectives.